Mors Semper Certa Est

Sadly, I heard a couple of days ago that Johanne Wilkinson, with whom I spent 7 years of my life going through high school and college, died on Monday. She had cancer. I remember Pete telling me a while ago, and thinking she would be fine. It turns out not. I've felt empty the last couple of days - my college days were not my finest. Johanne had a hard time during college and I remember being a complete twat. She was the first vegetarian I ever met, and I suppose subconsciously she had a profound effect on me. I remember she was the first person to introduce the concept to me. Although I did laugh at the time. I didn't speak to her much after college, but the few times I did, I could tell that she was happy with life and her fiancé.

Back in year 7, in our memorable form room C7, we used to have thought for the day. At 11 years old, we weren't expected to become immortal with our quoting, but one thought for the day stuck with me. It was started by Damien Lynch (what happened to him?) and was to do with living your life to the full. Fair enough. For reasons lost in the sands of time, Miss Balmer started to tell us that the sad reality is "at least one" of us out of the class of 30 would die of cancer. I recall looking round the room, frightened to death.

I'm still frightened to death - I heard a song by Gold Kids the other day that really resonates with me. That same day, I heard that Johanne had died. RIP Johanne.

This is my tragedy

Beginning with the number 3

This is our endless winter

When all we needed was a summer sun

This is how to feel distant

Even though we're one

Step away from the grave

This is how we fail

So every time we've tried to smile

Mother luck took our happiness away

Any any hope was fake

This is how everything ends

This is my ode to youth

Goodbye youth

Winter, 365 Days A Year

When is this fucking winter going to end? For the first time in my life, I really can't wait for it to be over. It snowed again today. I can't remember one like it!

On another quick note, as I am going to bed shortly, I was told the other day that my approach to revenge and being fucked with is "right wing". Is that a bad thing? At the end of the day, you can stick whatever fucking pointless label you want on it, but what matters is this: I would like to think that people that fuck with me get what's coming to them. Not by karma or any of that bullshit. By my own hand. Not (necessarily) literally. Yeah, the moral high ground exists, but I want to take the high and low ground.

Know: You were wrong and basically an utter fucktard.
Know: Don't do it to me again.

Yes, I am thinking of specific people.

Despite the two points raised here, I am actually in a good mood! Working tomorrow, plus the green stall with People & Planet, plus footy! Hopefully I can save up for the new Crime In Stereo album! Oh yeah, one FINAL thing- I am getting more than a bit sick of getting told I listen to only punk or kiddy music. If that were true, does that matter? I want to note two things: I love my music uncontrollably. It has become my life. Secondly, I have never fallen victim to some shitty trend or what's hot bullshit. What I loved 10 years ago I still love now, and what I love today I will love 10 years from now. You'll never catch me saying "I used to listen to...".

I'll stick to what I know. Besides, the alternative is full-on-wank. Take dub-step for example, or Jeffrey Lewis. No hard feelings Tom, he's poor! And it's nothing to do with me "not understanding him"!

I should quit drinking. My blog probably comes across as quite teeny and bitchy. But, hell, I write this for me and basically pour out my thoughts. Which is why I rabble so much, like now, or there's a lot of anger.

I never claimed to be perfect though.