Okay, so I know I have said this many, many times before, but hear me out. Yesterday I got up early to finally get fucking shut of my hired Seat Leon, or actually it may have been an Ibiza. I then took the (rather fantastic) train to Torremolinos to look for a job, and ended up drinking with a whole load of British people all over town, wondering what the hell to do. On one hand I was bored, and could not think of a fucking thing to do other than drink, but on the other, I could potentially be meeting a future employer. So I sipped, read, talked shit and had my ears filled with yet more shit. The aim was to stay sober until Tina's opened at 7pm, who had a "Staff Wanted" sign outside. The only place on the entire coast, it would seem.
However, when that time finally arrived, it became crystal clear that the people who worked there were complete posing pratts, and that the job would involve hanging on the street and begging people to dispense with their cash (and freedom of choice) in Tina's. So I sat down in Mulligan's Irish Bar (which was kind of rare, an Irish bar overseas) to watch the Newcastle game. Eventually I got talking to two lads, one from Newcastle and the other from Lichfield.
To cut a boring story short, I ended up not that drunk, sat outside a brothel in the freezing cold at 4:30am, listening to "Refusing To Be A Man" by Propagandhi and playing Klondike on my iPod whilst the two lads paid €70 to sit and talk to a naked girl. During this time, two living skeletons asked me to come inside, "out of the cold". It was at this point that I wondered what the fuck I was doing. I had spent the previous 2 hours in Lineker's bar, with the most killable bar team and D.J. of all time and a load of people trying to put their dicks in other people.
I never want to drink alcohol again. Over the past 2 weeks, I have been drinking every single day, and have gained lots of weight, lost lots of memories and puked up lots of guts. I am now 24, and am increasingly noticing the dumb way people act when drunk. I am a fan of conversation and focus. Maybe I can become a better person if I try to find fun AWAY from alcohol. Plus, I really would like to get fit.
The thing is, I like trying different beers and alcoholic beverages. I don't want to rule out drinking, but it's been proven that I simply can not drink just one or two, and sometimes this is enough to make me want to inject falafel into my veins
Besides, if I drink Pepsi or Coca-Cola, I feel like a twat every single time, even though I know me resisting those companies will not change the world. Soft drinks are too damned tasty, which is a problem. They wreck your insides and are gone within about 5 seconds. In my case anyway.
There's water, but come on. Just, come on.
Fruit juice is viable, but it feels like a cop-out. It reminds me that I only get my ALL-IMPORTANT five-a-day when I drink 6 litres of the stuff.
Coffee and tea are nice, but we all know they aren't a practical or healthy alternative.
Anyway, I must dash soon to find a local bar showing the Barca game where I won't be treated like Les Battersby trying to get into a billionaire's convention on an island in the Med constructed entirely out of poor people. Which probably means either hiking it way into Malaga, or putting up with the snobbery in the local bar.
It looks like I'm reaching for the beer again.
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