End Is Forever

Well then, here we go. Sunday the 2nd of March. Whilst this is technically the lowest/worst I've ever sunk, I feel equipped to take down this illness for the first time in 9 years. I am going to write more regularly. I am not going to put down song titles anymore. I am going to be more honest.

Cruising Henry fell at Newcastle and that is all I need to remember.

End

It is time to be Hi On Life.

It's Tragic

The last two days have been the worst and lowest I've ever experienced. But today I has five minutes of feeling like I could one day get better. I went to the pet shop and just looked at the guinea pigs and rabbits. I felt normal for a bit. Probably looked the complete opposite. I am hopeless.

Love Steals Us From Loneliness

My anger is a form of madness
So I'd rather have hope than the sadness

Still not managed to write what I need to! There is so much!

I will just take this opportunity to mark how fucking fantastic everything is right now and how much I'm loving getting certain shitty parts of my life out of it.

Onwards!

Okay. Tomorrow after work I will write. Everything.

Seven

Father please take me back
I don't fit in with these cruel earthlings
I've done my time, please take me home
I was five
I was bad
You sent me here erased my memory
Please fly your spaceship out
And beam me up, don't leave me down here
I'll be so good
From now on.

Shiver

Quick update - still so much to say and apparently little time to say it. I will still lie in bed tonight playing Candy Crush though, sigh. I have been so tired recently that I've felt depressingly weak, so it's an early night tonight I think. Supposed to be doing an Orange Wednesday with Dave but he's nowhere to be seen. I did get back late (done Nantwich, Alsager and Sandbach today - Bradford, Hull & Nottingham tomorrow), but - well, shit.

So I managed a week without beer, YES. Well, kinda. Sam Ward came Wednesday (still recovering from that I suppose) and I went to see Tim Barry/Sam Russo on Sunday. That gig was one of the best I've been to, so intense! HOWEVER, I substituted those two days for Monday and Tuesday. It's now Wednesday, so I feel like I've over achieved, ha ha.

Face is starting to feel less flabby and I played 65 mins for the Bless on Sunday with no fitness concerns at all. Just quality, strength and speed which let me down!

Small steps.

Day 2

Day 2 of no beer week and I feel like shit. No beer still but I'm just run down and feeling uninspired. In the future I want to measure my life by the things I do rather than the things I don't. Need to go for that run tomorrow!

I'm 29 year old and today I saw the inside of a melon for the first time. That could reflect so many things.

Moodswings

So much to say, so little enthusiasm. I have realised so much recently - some good, some bad. I was thinking of writing a short memoir to sum up everything. If I enjoy writing this week, I will.

This week, I have an aim: to have not have any alcohol, to read every day and go for at least three decent runs. I aim to make short updates on here to keep it all tied together.

I must admit, I needed a Duvel last night though. Man of Steel was one of very worst films I've ever seen.