Living the Dream

Nottingham Forest 5-2 Derby County

Liverpool 0-1 Wolves

Fuck YES

Punch in the Face

I've heard Anna is interested in doing the student fight night.

I am so tempted to lose ten stone, get a sex change and knock her fucking Leicester supporting face in.

;)

Oh, I forgot... I'm entering it, ha ha. Dave has turned me on to boxing. When we've done some pad sessions in his room, I have experienced the huge fitness required merely to throw some punches. As the running club has completely stalled now (although I hope to give it a decent shove in the new year), I need to get fit. The chance of a fight will give me something to aim for, and if I win, a real sense of achievement.

I don't want to be naive (can't be arsed with the umlauts), but Dave thinks I have a talent! We'll see...

I'm Going to Hell for This One

The self-checkouts are BAD for people. Look at what happened to Joanna Yeates.

In Competition for the Worst Time

One of the worst weeks ever in football. Forest lost to Leicester on Monday. I watched it with Anna. Forest were shite, but so were Leicester. Anyway, with the added presence of Guy, Pete Conoulty and beer, I went on camera to say that if Forest finished lower that either Derby or Leicester I would run down sadlergate naked. I'm really not worried.

The day after that and with a raging head, United got twatted in the Carling Cup by West Ham 4-0. It didn't hurt as much as it would in the past, but still, not the best tonic to Monday.

Finally, England only received 2 votes to stage the 2018 World Cup. Not that I care too much, (I preferred all of the other bids) but it still felt like defeat.

Here's to Euro 2012!

My Pants Keep Falling Down

Which is kind of annoying, because I stayed at Shaun's on Tuesday night and found that I'd actually gained weight. Even though like I feel I've lost.

I've finally hit 17 stone!

Roseability

Gertrude Stein said "that's enough".

No Control

Sunday the 10th of October: the first time I really didn't feel in control. At all.

Rebelde y Vagabundo

Last night I left my comfort zone. It was Derby Army night, and Nunnery had been given a pink colour code. I figured it would be good to go along and hang out with a load of other Nunnerites. So me, Pete and Mike went, wearing pink. It was (almost) the first flat night out. This is something I did not achieve last year. Oh yeah, Andrea came round and insisted we wear camouflage make up. Becky slapped her genuine stuff on my face. Ahem. Oh yeah, the venue? Walkabout.

So, not only did I wear fancy dress, I went to Walkabout. These are two things I always make a point of saying I don't do.

But you know what? I had a mostly fucking ace night. I was right to take the gamble. I've never been on a night out and seen so many people! There was the usual crew, plus Andy, Ash, Dan, Tom, Jamie, Anna and a load of people I haven't yet learned the name of. Plus, I had a girl show interest in me. She was walking past and smiled at me. She grabbed my hand and started dancing up against me. This was nice at first, because it's something that doesn't happen to me. But it kind of confirmed my new single status. Now I feel a bit crappy, but glad at the same time, because I felt in limbo. Not that I feel any different about Nat now. Anyway. That's another story.

Two things ruined it. Well, ruin is too strong. Prematurely ended my night, shall we say. A certain person knocked 3 separate drinks out of my hand. She was acting as if she'd never touched booze before. There was no apology, just the kind of really annoying, gone-too-far drunk. I told her on facebook that I was pissed off, but apparently, if I'm not "man enough" to hold onto my drink when freshers are bumping into her, causing her to smash into me (allegedly), then I don't deserve my drink. Moving on. Secondly, I ended up on the floor because a girl seemingly and "humourously" speared this fucking huge lad off that stage thing. I waited for an apology. When none came, I fucking lost it. This is another stepping from the comfort zone. I've never actively tried to start a fight, despite all the times I've been willing to fight. All the guy could say was that he's deaf. Someone stepped in and said "leave it mate, it's just one of those things". He also received some backlash.

Perhaps that's the point. It WAS just one of those things that always seem to happen in Walkabout every time I step through the door. Everyone headed off to Syn. I headed home and back to my comfort zone, enraged, but glad I went out. Here's to an ace year.

Mr. Coffee

Sat in the office at Nunnery, screaming out for bed. Massive headache. Can barely stay awake. Oh well, off to get more coffee! I swear I will write in this thing properly soon.

War

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

-Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

Quiet

So, my iPod got nicked. Scum, absolute scum. The thing is, it doesn't surprise me. I work with some utter dicks. Having said that, I love a lot of people there. Mega post coming soon, I feel organised now I'm back at home!

Family Reunion

The other day I saw that ex-Corrie lad Richard Fleeshman on tele. My immediate thought was "what a bellend, look at the fucking state of him". That may have been subconscious envy. Maybe not though. He did say one thing that I respected though; the interviewer asked him what doing a theatre show 8 times a week was like and he said "well, it's not going down the mines is it? I feel very lucky to do what I do". I kept that comment in mind when I started back on the buses. I've enjoyed it so far, seeing everyone again. I've done so much in the last year it seems hard to believe it's only been a year, but at the same time it seems like only yesterday since I was there. Harvey Mandell can eat my shit.

Yesterday me and Nat tried to go and see Predators at the cinema. Orange Wednesday. With Twilight being out, the queue was fucking silly. So we fucked it off, got some grub and wine from Associated Dairies, and (finally) watched Jaws in bed. Nice. Anyway, the point is we saw Sonya and Jeanetta at ASDA so we dropped Jeanetta off at her house. As we came round the corner, we saw two young scrotes wheeling a blue bin off filled with what looked like car parts. We asked Jeanetta if it was her bin, and she said not, which was odd, as the two lads looked away and stopped wheeling it when we pulled up. Eventually they realised we weren't going to do anything, so made off with it. It turned out that it was Jeanetta's. I know it's only a dustbin, but all the same. Fucking scumbags. I drove after them, but I'm not sure what I would have done. Is it worth it? All the same, I can't stand bellends like that.

Cancelled road trip to USA with Karl, Martin and Chris. Couldn't afford it. BUT I am aiming to get away with the lads to Spain. Result?

Something I Learned Today

a) Salad for lunch and salad for dinner is not the ideal stomach lining for a night time sesh.
b) Light beer is lower in calories and not alcohol.
c) When someone says they have an open door policy and would "bend over backwards to help", they may not actually mean it.
d) Courtney Love has been through more than I thought.
e) "The Unknown Glow" is one of the most perfect songs ever made.

Sleep

It's 5am here in a lonely Newark hotel. I really can't sleep and I want to get home. One thing is for sure, I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone and getting some shit done this Summer.

There is a photo I will always treasure.

Picking Up The Shattered Pieces

The past few years I thought that things would never change
All in the same moment I know it cannot stay the same
As this chapter ends and a new one begins again
I hope you find your way

This is not where I wanted to go
Thought we'd see this together
Though you'll travel a different road
You'll always be my friend

I lost my way but I've found it again

Bleeder

Ok, so I got sacked from camp. A lot of stuff has happened recently, and all I can say right now is I've never, ever, ever been more confident about the future. Let's fucking do this. Note first verse lyrics.

Canon in D

I was doing the Darley Abbey run the other day with Clair whilst wearing my iPod shuffle. What song came on to inspire me to beat the big hill? Not the most inspiring moment ever. Although I did manage to drift off and think of Madrid... thanks Pachelbel!

Go Mad and Mark

Right, bed. Tomorrow I will achieve all. Including writing on this fucker properly.

Homophobes are just pissed cause they can't get laid

I just had a targeted ad on my facebook for gay friendly hotels. How did they know???

The Calming Collection

I love Nat, now and forever. Everything will be okay babe! It already is, more than! Mwah! x

Off Broadway

It's time.

Can't Get The Stink Out

The guy sat next to me in the library REALLY fucking stinks off pee. This is the second time I've sat next to him now. I don't like it!

Personal best in running!

No cash until Monday!

Speed dating went well, if a little ill-attended!

Acting debut in COERCION!

Lots of other things!

Celebrate

Ok, so I got into Summer Camp! I was beginning to lose hope! It turns out that I'm spending the Summer in Torrington, Connecticut! I am extremely happy about this! I've never been to CT, and it's really close to all the good shit like New Jersey and New York. I'm the driver, which I'm really happy about. Should suit me down to the ground! I spoke to the Camp Director yesterday and he kept asking me if I would be OK with mostly salad for the entire Summer. This, combined the fact that the camp has a strict no-alcohol policy means that I'm looking forward to post-camp! It'll be like rehab. So excited!

Finally, just a quick note that recently I almost fell down the stairs 3 times in 3 days recently. Luckily I have lived to blog another day!

Winter, 365 Days A Year

When is this fucking winter going to end? For the first time in my life, I really can't wait for it to be over. It snowed again today. I can't remember one like it!

On another quick note, as I am going to bed shortly, I was told the other day that my approach to revenge and being fucked with is "right wing". Is that a bad thing? At the end of the day, you can stick whatever fucking pointless label you want on it, but what matters is this: I would like to think that people that fuck with me get what's coming to them. Not by karma or any of that bullshit. By my own hand. Not (necessarily) literally. Yeah, the moral high ground exists, but I want to take the high and low ground.

Know: You were wrong and basically an utter fucktard.
Know: Don't do it to me again.

Yes, I am thinking of specific people.

Despite the two points raised here, I am actually in a good mood! Working tomorrow, plus the green stall with People & Planet, plus footy! Hopefully I can save up for the new Crime In Stereo album! Oh yeah, one FINAL thing- I am getting more than a bit sick of getting told I listen to only punk or kiddy music. If that were true, does that matter? I want to note two things: I love my music uncontrollably. It has become my life. Secondly, I have never fallen victim to some shitty trend or what's hot bullshit. What I loved 10 years ago I still love now, and what I love today I will love 10 years from now. You'll never catch me saying "I used to listen to...".

I'll stick to what I know. Besides, the alternative is full-on-wank. Take dub-step for example, or Jeffrey Lewis. No hard feelings Tom, he's poor! And it's nothing to do with me "not understanding him"!

I should quit drinking. My blog probably comes across as quite teeny and bitchy. But, hell, I write this for me and basically pour out my thoughts. Which is why I rabble so much, like now, or there's a lot of anger.

I never claimed to be perfect though.

It's Funny, I Don't Feel Like A Winner

Ok, a lot to cover. First of all I just want to state that people who believe there is not an unwritten law that allows you to take someone else's chips or sweets without asking. If you do that, you are more than likely to be a cunt. I shouldn't have to say "excuse me, I bought these. With my own money. So, ya know... fuck off". Ahem.

Secondly, I should probably talk about the BUCS Cross Country Championships in Stirling. This was a dismal failure for me. I have never ran cross country, ever. The distance was 12k, (it actually turned out to be 11.1k) and I figured that seeing as I managed 10k okay, I shouldn't need to do any extra training. How wrong I was. I should note that I did "give up" drinking for the week before hand, so I did take it a little seriously. Although the primary reason for this was lack of funds. Whilst I always knew I wouldn't be at the front of the field, I didn't care as the uni paid the hotel so the shit finish would have been a worthy price to pay. The first thing I hated about the trip was going to Nottingham Uni to get the coach with the Nottingham and Coventry teams. Nottingham Uni is huge and actually good. I got the same feeling I got when I went to Birmingham Uni. I know a lot of people say I'm a pessimist, but I can't help feeling like a failure when I compare these traditional, "proper" universities to Derby. I always thought I was intelligent, but reality is starting to bite hard and it's hard to accept the fact that I'm just not as smart as I used to be. This feeling was repeated upon arriving at Stirling, which is simply massive and rightly deserves it's official tag of "most beautiful uni in the country".

The second thing was obviously the race itself. We (Stu, Ben, James and Clair) walked the course beforehand and that was hard enough! It had been raining, but even without that, some of the hills were just silly. I started to really shit myself at this point. Everyone assured me I would be fine so I went along with it. When the gun went, fuck me was I slow. At first I thought everyone was sprinting, but it soon became clear that everyone was actually jogging at their normal pace. By the fourth turn, I was last. By a considerable distance. By the end of the first long lap (which actually turned out to be the one short lap, totally fucking up my mental state) people were asking me if I was still in the race. To be fair, people were nicer than I expected. Sure, people took the piss (one guy ringing the last lap bell), but in a nice way. People cheered me on, which was actually a great feeling. But I also felt shit, as I knew I looked unfit. Hell, I am. But the realisation was painful. By the time I came round to start lap 3 (of 4), I knew there was absolutely no chance of me overtaking anyone, so I thought it best to slip into the trees, remove my vest and walk into the crowd. This was the worst feeling I've had in a long time. On top of not feeling too great about myself, I felt like I had let the team down. Somehow, eventually, after a series of phone calls to Mum, Lewis and Nat, I cheered up and pulled myself together. I will never forget that feeling. Ever. I aim to return next year and put in a performance to be proud of. Training is still not that intense, but I feel like I need to concentrate on weight loss. On that note, Tom yesterday said that I have lost a lot of weight since September. Feeling good now!

I will have to continue this later as I have lost my trail of thought. Plus, Zama keeps farting on me in the library.

The Real Damage

Well, for some unknown reason, I keep saying that I have to get so drunk I throw up at university. I guess that speaks volumes about the kind of (unproductive) person I am. At the moment I am "off the drink", which is my training for the 12k in Scotland on Saturday, which I am shitting it for. What does "off the drink" mean? It means that the first two days are alcohol free, I have a pint a day for three days, and then two pints, and then today I wake up with the worst hangover I've had in a long time. Which is confusing, as I didn't actually drink that much, bar the absinthe. Maybe I really am getting old.

On that note, it's been about 2 weeks now since I woke up in the middle of the night. At first I loved it, and I still do, but now I am starting to wonder what's changed? I thought you were supposed to sleep worse as you get older? Maybe I am just loving my life right now. I'll go with that for now. Even though I am horrificly poor and already feel behind in this semester. That is partly because I have had to drop Environmental Conservation and Introduction to Law in favour for Maps & Map Making, because both were unbearably irrelevant and shit. Especially Law. I rarely meet a Law student who isn't full of shit. So, there is an assessment in week 3 for Maps, and I wouldn't have gone to a class. Oh dear. On the plus side, having 2 classes on Friday means Wednesday and Thursday off. Which would be ideal for a job, if I found one that
a) takes me on
b) isn't Kedleston Road chippy.

Ok, off to running practice. My legs are stiff already. Fuck. I just want to note that yesterday I picked up my guitar and tried to play "Warbrain" by Alkaline Trio and got really down at how bad I am at playing and singing. Especially when done together. Today I feel a little better because my guitar is now in tune and I dropped the singing.

The title for this blog is in reference to one of the best songs of all time. Fact.

Only You

Well, today marks 5 years since me and Nat became genuine lovers. However, we are not celebrating it as we are both poorer than poor. Year 6 is going to be HUGE. I love Nat. So much. I never gave it much thought in the beginning, but if I could have known we were to go through all we have back then, I would have exploded. Here's to the next 5!

Speaking of 5, I still can't be on the phone for more than 5 minutes without getting seriously angry. My phone is still broken. I think I may fuck phones off.

Cultural Great Leap Backwards

Ha, the title for this one isn't completely relevant, but I wanted to reference Ward Corner.

I just remembered what I wanted to note the other day; the fact that over this Christmas period, I reached two records; one low and one high. During the trip to Ceauce, I became the poorest I ever have been: I had £5 available to me. Whilst my balance has been lower than that before, I have record debts right now. May I PLEASE get a job this year!

The second record was a new high; my weight. I weighed in at 16st 13lbs. Fully clothed though, so it wasn't quite that high. Holy. Fuck. I must admit, I was shocked. Nevermind, it hasn't stopped the alcohol. Carlsberg Special Brew and shrooms the other day. Here's to 18 stone!

I'll Never Be An Astronaut

Ok, so it's been a while again, and I did have loads I wanted to write. Ceauce was great, and it came at just the right time to allow me to take a step back and have a good hard think. I didn't give up drink as (not really) anticipated, for example I am drinking Carlsberg Special Brew right now, but I slowed down for a bit. Looking forward to getting back into uni again. I thought I should record some of new year's resolutions for this year.

1. Watch 365 films this year
2. Read 12 books this year
3. Run a half marathon
4. Perform at an open mic
5. Others that I can't think of right now

Ok, to tea and back to Call of Duty!