Damnit

Mum and Dad are in the front room right now watching a DVD. I asked them what they're watching. Dad replies "a film".

Yesterday Mum and Dad were in the front room watching Taggart, although the ads were on. I ask Dad to flick on Setanta Sports News for a second so I could see the Hull score. He literally flicked it for a second and put the ads straight back on.

Fun fun fun.

The State Lottery

It makes me laugh when people rush out to buy lottery tickets whenever there's a rollover on.

As if they wouldn't be happy with a regular jackpot of 2 or 3 million.

Anthem

I was just on the phone to Mum and she ACTUALLY SAID "the thing that annoys me and your Dad is that everything's lastminute.com"

OMG M8, OMG

Stand Up and be Cunted

If God didn't want men to rape women, why did he make them so sexy?

Seem ridiculous?

If God didn't want men to eat animals, why did he make them so tasty?

Seem ridiculous?

Hint: You should arrive at the same answer twice.

What A Strange Turn Of Events

So Saturday was the annual trip to the Feathers for bus drivers. It was actually okay, in that I left early to prevent boredom to fully set in. Plus having Nat there always helps. It was the same routine as always; meet up at the hop pole, partake in some really shitty karaoke, then head to the feathers for all fucking night, and at some point I get asked if I'm gay.

On this occasion it was someone who I have actually decided to remove the name of. It's actually starting to get really boring now. Clearly, as I frequently make homoerotic comments and get quite touchy feely with my friends that makes me gay. Because everyone knows that you openly pursue whatever gender of lover takes your fancy by constantly touching their arse and suggesting you perform oral sex on them for a packet of crisps.

Not only is that quite pathetic, it doesn't matter what I say, the enquirer always hears "yes, I'm gay". No matter how I answered her metaphorical questions, all this person could say was "you can tell me, you know that" or "I'll still love you anyway".

Another notch to the "people I have lost a little bit of respect for" belt.

No Little Pill

I really fear my brain is going to fry at uni. A conversation I had at work today with an individual who I shall not name;

"Seriously though, I wouldn't trust that bitch as far as I can throw her"
"Just how far can you throw her then?" I jokingly asked.
"A long fucking way mate"

Help me.

I'll Find You

Oh yeah, seeing as this is my blog, and I'm allowed to put what I want, and no-one reads this, I thought I'd better make note right now, so I can tell the future me how pissed off I was/am.

Chris Antrobus, the day WILL come when I see you.

That day will be a very painful one for you.

Fuck The Border

One of the very worst things about my job (and, I suspect, most of the jobs involving handling the public) is the fact that the customer is always right.

A couple of nights ago, I had a guy on my bus who spoke little to no English who was asking me a question I could not understand. Basically he wanted to go to a place I was sure was located on another route (in fact, the other route to Leigh) and communicating this to him proved very difficult. Eventually, he made his was back into the station, probably with no better idea of what was going on. Not an ideal situation.

As I reversed off, one of the older passengers decided to proclaim, loudly, that the guy should not have been "in this fucking country" as he couldn't speak the lingo. As a representative of my company, the most diplomatic answer I could think of was "I think that's a bit harsh..." (long silence) "...maybe he's on holiday?"
"What, in fucking Warrington?"
Another passenger joins in. "He could be seeing his family!"
"Well if he's seeing his family, that means there's even more fucking foreigners here!"

I decided to keep quiet. Old misguided fools won't open their fucking minds probably ever, nevermind as the result of a mere bus driver's rage. In this case, speaking out wasn't worth my job. A real bollock blow to me was that the angle I was forced to come from probably sounded like I actually thought it's okay for the guy to be here, but only on the basis he's on holiday.

The customer is always right, but mostly he's a fucking idiot.

Enthused

I am fucking sick to fucking death of people who eat as if they're actively trying to make as much noise as possible. Are they not aware? Do they think that maybe people don't mind them sounding like they are trying to eat hot coals?

Naming no names.